I have just returned to my humble abode after a fantastic reunion lunch in Battersea. Having finished the washing and general preparations for tomorrow morning (and my third Monday at The Telegraph), I decided to Log on to POF (Plenty of Fish) to check my arrangements for the date on Tuesday (with the 29-year-old Doctor). There waiting in my inbox, don’t worry Doctor hasn’t bailed, was a message that caught me by surprise. Normally there are the flurry of ‘Hey, howz ur weeknd bin?’, which, as a writer, make me grimace, but today came something out of the ordinary. I could describe it, but it’s probably easier to let you judge for yourselves. So here it is:
Good day. You look like someone my strict father would be pleased to bare my first three children. Good bone structure, solid Aryan looks and hopefully no unsightly disfigurements, please confirm this along with reassurance of a history of family interbreeding and full mental instability. I hope that this will not be a problem.
Please read my profile if any of this needs explaining further and please remember our first-born must be a male, I would hate to have to consider having your pretty head cut off.
Really look forward to hearing from you.
Intriguing. What do we think? Apart from the grammatical error – is he suggesting getting naked in front of children? If so, perhaps there’s another addition to Operation Yew Tree! But, seriously, do we think that he is deliberately adopting a toffish, arrogant and sexist tone to get a reaction, or is simply a sexist, arrogant toff?! Yet to be confirmed, but one thing’s for sure – he’s got my attention.